BOLT ANALYSIS -- WOULD YOU LIKE FRIES WITH THAT?

EDITORS NOTE: This week’s version of the BOLT ANALYSIS was nearly cancelled due to apathy. The game was blacked out and the ANALYSIS was busy at Disneyland for much of the day. However, it has gotten to the point where the ANALYSIS reads much like a Danielle Steel novel(?)...it pretty much writes itself. Given that, this abbreviated version comes your way.  As Ms. Steele must say to herself over and over again, “Well, as long as they keep readin’ it...I’ll keep writin’ it”.

The Bolts yesterday did not deviate from the script. Like a good soap opera actor, or a cook at Jack in the Box, they keep churning out the same consistent fare at every opportunity. I have written it before but the games are all blending together now. Yesterday’s loss to the BengalsRavensBroncos looked a lot like previous losses to the BuccaneersBrownsSaints. You really cannot tell them apart. It starts with a bit of good defense, some stout tackling, add in some inept rushing, some good ground-gaining passing for flavor, and some turnovers for spice. What you have at that point as you put it into the over is a tenuous 4^th quarter lead.  But, as all cooks at Jack in the Box know, it’s the added ingredients at the end that will kill you. And, we are forced to endure the late addition of the bonecrushing sacks, fumbles, mistakes, and interceptions that are the Hallmark of this team. And thus, you have the finished product. It is not fat free.

Another 4^th quarter lead...blown. Another home game loss...this one without a single offensive touchdown. Another game with zero running game (Mathews 9 carries for 26 yards). Another game with a defense that can play ¾ of a game, but can never do the right thing when it counts. Another game with a stunning display of ineptitude at the end by our Quarterback and leader. Another game where injuries mount and show glaring weakness.

We are there folks! We have reached that point of the season where we cannot, not with any mathematical possibility, have a winning record. The best we can do (until next week at Pittsburgh) is 8-8. I think Norv is done. Even if we do finish 8-8, I think this should be enough to start over with a new coach. Next week, we leave San Diego, where we have featured two consecutive blacked out losses, and we go to Pittsburgh. We have not beaten Pittsburgh since the 1994 AFC Championship Game it seems (pause for moment of blissful reflection). We cannot stop here, Followers, we must keep losing! It is the only way to get rid of AJ Smith and attempt to be born again. Tough Love. Don’t forget it. Even when those bits of caring seep back in. Be Strong. Drink the Kool Aid. It is not easy to do, but we must.

Since I have nothing to talk about re: the BOLTS. How about a brief discussion of two other Sports topics that may be of interest?

1) The LA Galaxy won the MLS Cup again on Saturday for the second consecutive year. We were in attendance for the second straight year, and brother Jonas and kids got a taste of it as well. A fun game and a deserved win (if poorly officiated). This was David Beckham’s last game with the Galaxy. I was skeptical when he joined the team 6 years ago. The media hoopla was so absolute, it was shocking to me. And, he hardly played early on. The first two years were dismal, then he went on loan to Milan. It was not until his 4^th year that he really consistently played for the team. And, in typical Beckham fashion, he goes out with back to back Championships.  In the final analysis, I think that the hoopla was justified. The numbers don’t lie....attendance skyrocketed wherever he played, merchandise is through the roof, the League has signed lucrative TV deals with the major networks and overseas networks. Interest around the world increased. Perhaps most importantly however, the MLS has made decisions that have helped that are unrelated to the name recognition of one player. They have pushed for soccer-only stadiums. They have moved into soccer hotbeds such as Seattle, Portland, Vancouver, and created fun rivalries. The MLS has a long way to go....but with the help of Becks....it is a solid and legitimate League and here to stay.

2) The Oregon Ducks. My Boys in Green are the only team in the Country to play in 4 consecutive BCS games. The Ducks averaged 49 points a game this year....yet inexplicably fell down at home against Stanford and scored only 14 in a 3 point overtime loss. This slip cost them a shot at the National Championship game for the second time in three years. Just writing that sentence would have been laughable a few years ago, much less in 1994 when I was going to school there. What a program they have become! I would have loved to have seen them take on Notre Dame in the Championship this year. Instead, they get an exciting matchup against Kansas State in the Fiesta Bowl. They will likely lose their mad scientist coach Chip Kelly at the end of the year, but these last four years, with a 44-7 record, a Rose Bowl Win, a National Championship loss in the last few seconds....it has been quite a run.